I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
