I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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