After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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