I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
