I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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