You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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