my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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