he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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