Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
