I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i've created a new STD.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
