So drunk, too bad you don't want this
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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