She said her name was "party"
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
