he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
