Nicole vs. Life
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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