how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
