this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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