Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
