Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
