there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
