Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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