Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
