The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
