we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I don't think brook has ever known best
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
