sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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