I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
