btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
