sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
