Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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