fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
