Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
