i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
