Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
