So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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