It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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