Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
