Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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