I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
