i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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