I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
