Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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