Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
