Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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