Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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