All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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