I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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