I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
