Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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