We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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