The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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