This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
