I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
