I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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