ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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