Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
