Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
