So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
