Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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