I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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