get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
