Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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