HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
